October 15, 2014
It’s the
Wednesday after the race and I’m still amazed that it happened at all. All of
the training, and the stressing and the carb loading have come and gone and it
was all worth it. When I hung that medal on my cork board last night when I got
home from the airport I knew that I was one I’d treasure.
The race was
quite the experience. I’d be lying if I said I had my best day. I was really
nervous so my stomach was all twisted up, which any runner knows is serious bad
news. As excited as I was my energy was low, which freaked me out. But the
energy of the crowd carried me, the thought of running with 45,000 other people
and in front of 2 million people who lined the course was just insane. The
flatness of the course got me moving and we probably were moving a little too
fast, I was sore by mile 8 and emotions were up and down. I’m so thankful that
I had my friend Julie running with me and my friend Margaret who stuck with us
for a few miles. It’s always better to go through something like that with
other people.
The first
half of the race flew by, actually up to mile 16 flew by… but those last 10 miles
were rough, especially the last three. My legs hurt so bad I wanted to cut them
off, I felt like no matter what mind games I played or the amount of stretching
I did I never got brought back to life. But, Julie and I pushed each other
through and we finished. I’m not sure what kind of emotional reaction I had at
the finish. I was relieved, angry, happy, sad, but mostly just in pain. I
couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t say anything. I just wrapped up in my heat
blanket let them put the medal over my head and focused on putting one foot in
front of the other towards Jenny and a cab back to her apartment. I felt loopy
to be honest, like I was drunk, haha I’m sure I made an ass out of myself, but
after 26.2 miles of running, I think I’m allowed.
I was sore
as hell, but bounced back. I was just happy that I didn’t seriously injure
myself this time around. I’d also knocked about 15min off my time. I wanted it
to be more but at least it was under 6 hours this time. And I didn’t end up on
crutches, so that’s a huge bonus!
I had an
awesome evening with friends at dinner and got to see people I haven’t seen in
years! Between being so happy to be around those people, in my city, and with a
huge accomplishment under my belt I don’t think I stopped smiling all night… It
was amazing…
People think
I’m pretty crazy for running as much as I do… I get a lot of crazy looks but a
lot of admiration as well. I can’t exactly say why I do it, it’s just become a
part of me and what I like to do. Some people think it’s silly to pay for pain
and to pay to just run… but it’s so much more than that. I’ve heard it said
before that if you want your faith in humanity restored, go watch a marathon. I
couldn’t agree more. From the perspective of the runner you are out there,
doing something that less than 1% of the population will ever do! You’re
pushing your body to its extreme limits and you tap into this resiliency inside
of you that you never thought existed, and that’s pretty incredible. The really
special part though is the community, the community of the runners but also the
community of the crowd. Those people lined the course for HOURS cheering on
people they’d never met in their life. Yelling and screaming and holding signs
and offering encouragement and even hugs. When a family would get united with
the runner they were supporting it was just an enormous rush of emotions and
excitement, it’s a hard thing to beat. As a runner when you see a family member
or friend cheering for you it is probably the greatest feeling in the world, to
know that you aren’t taking on this challenge alone. Yes, you are the one
putting one foot in front of the other but you realize that you have so many
people behind you, literally cheering you on and willing you to complete your
goal, it’s an incredible feeling. Not to mention the fact that they’ve probably
stood in the cold for hours waiting for you to come along, get about a 2 second
sweating hug and then have to watch you run away and the waiting begins again…
Now that the
Chicago Marathon adventure is over I think I’ll be sticking to half marathons
from now on. I’ve done the one race that I’ve always wanted to do in the greatest
city in the world and I am really happy with that. Thank you to everyone for
your support!
The following posts are bits and pieces of
my journey through training…. A glimpse into the crazy mind of a marathoner…
June 10, 2014
I put my
name in the lottery for the Chicago Marathon the day it opened. I’m not sure
what the motivation was but I have a few ideas. Either way I decided to put my
marathon fate in the hands of the lottery gods. My choice was made for me and I
ended up getting a spot. I had previously decided that my reaction to the
decision email would tell me if I should bite the bullet and sign up or not.
Well when that congratulations email came through the biggest smile ever came
across my face and I knew that this was something I wanted to do. It started to
feel like more than just a marathon.
This marathon could be my chance to set a goal and stick with it, my
chance to do something above average, to not just finish something but to
finish it well. But more than that it was important to me to do something back
in Chicago, to feel like I still somehow belonged to that city and had a place
there, it’s my home but I feel further and further from it every day. Sometimes
I feel like I’m holding on too tight, that I should let it go and work on
making a home elsewhere, but that’s harder than you’d think, especially when
almost everyone you know is living in or moving to Chicago. Now, I’m not
dissing or dismissing any other city (I’m talkin to you Atlanta) but, home is
home and that can be hard to shake. So, come October 12, when I step up to the
starting line of that 26.2, it’ll be a homecoming, and a reconnection. Nothing
can bring you close to a place then pushing your body and mind to the limits
down 26.2 miles of its roads.
Besides my
road to redemption this marathon is a chance to follow through with a goal and
to do it well. See, I always set goals, make plans, and have these big dreams.
But, unfortunately my motivation tends to dwindle, my resolve fades, and while
I manage to follow through on some things I never do as well as I wanted to or
thought I would at the beginning. For example, when I registered for this
marathon I made a goal of a certain weight that I wanted to be at the start of
training, as well as a certain fitness level. And I was super motivation for
about a month and a half and did great and then life got hard and the
motivation faded, the workouts got less intense and the food got higher in
calories. I didn’t follow through, again. I’m starting this training at the oh
so familiar weight of 202.5lbs and the usual fitness level of the 10:30 mile. This
sucks, I’m very rarely happy with myself and no amount of positive
encouragement from friends ever seems to be enough (but it’s still
appreciated). I’m taking this summer as my real chance at redemption. I NEED to
prove to myself that I can excel at something, that I can set a goal and meet
it, or hell, DO BETTER than I thought I would. I want to know what it feels
like to not be physically and emotionally destroyed by a marathon, to finish it
without halfway breaking my foot.
So, here’s
the deal. I’m going to set some real goals for this process, and I’m going to
write down as much as I can to document this process and to keep myself
accountable. And at the end when I cross that finish line in Chicago, maybe I
might actually feel fulfilled.
So here are
my rules:
-
Unless sick or hurt, NEVER miss a training run
-
Weight train at least twice a week
-
Don’t walk
-
No music on runs
-
No fried food
-
Eat healthy, fuel the tank!
-
Hydrate properly
-
Go to bed before 11, every night
-
Save alcohol for Saturday nights
-
Document as much of the process as possible
Tonight’s
run was a good start. 3 miles in the light rain. Never walked. Positive splits,
which kinda sucks but they were all under 11 min so I’ll take it. I’m not sure
why but it felt difficult to get good breath and I had a little side stitch.
The last mile was the slowest but it felt the best, so that’s saying something
I guess. I also think I’ll need new shoes soon, the current beauties are
showing their age and my socks through a few holes.
The goal for
tomorrow is to weight train in the morning and run in the evening.
I have 450
miles and 126 days to run for redemption… here’s hoping.
June 11, 2014
Damn it damn
it damn it damn it damn it damn it…..
You know, if
I didn’t love running so much, I’d hate it.
I was
actually looking forward to today’s run. I was pretty motivated after yesterday
and I made this amazing dinner which I am now eating. (quinoa/brown rice, kale,
red peppers, black beans, and garlic… holy delicious) So before my run today I
decided to create a new route, fun right??? So I did, and on parts of streets
I’d never run before. I should have thought a little harder about my new route.
One word: HILLS… this was probably the hilliest route I’ve ever run,
voluntarily. At one point I was at the bottom of this incredibly large hill
looking up and on the other side of this hill was the tallest skyscraper in the
city, and my favorite building, the “pencil building” (named after the fact
that it looks like a giant pencil, go figure). Well this hill I was about to
climb was so tall that all you could see of the pencil was the sharpened end.
This hill swallowed a building!!! Well, I was determined to stick to my “no
walking” rule so I shuffled up this hill and at one point a man in his truck
slowed down and stared at me, probably because my face was dragging on the
ground and I was dying… dying! The top of the hill comes and goes and I make my
turn and at that point I was literally praying for a red light I wanted to stop
so bad. I’m not one of those runners that guns it for green lights so I don’t
stop my stride. I’m one of those runners that prays for red lights so that I
can break my stride. Call me lazy, but I call it…. Well lazy, it’s a little
lazy.
The hills
continued and shot my legs. I gave in and ended up walking a few times. One
time I was so deep in thought while walking that my friend Tiffany passed in
her car and honked at me and I almost peed my shorts. Then I was so embarrassed
that I was caught walking by a very athletic friend that I almost sprinted the
next half mile and killed my legs again.
I didn’t
wake up to lift weights this morning. I just need to accept the fact that
unless there is a running buddy or Channing Tatum waiting for me I’m never
going to be a morning runner. I don’t know why I feel like it makes me feel
like less of a runner than others, I mean miles are miles no matter when
they’re run, right? Anyway, I went to the gym for a quick lift after my
meetings and before my run. I’m hoping that that is why my legs felt like for
the last two, okay two and a half miles.
My XC coach
in high school always told us to pump our arms when we felt tired because our
arms were closer to our heads, which made them smarter and if our arms moved
our legs would follow. Because legs are stupid… well I tonight I proved Coach
Albrecht wrong because my legs were in total control. Maybe tomorrow I can
outsmart them.
June 13, 2014
Yesterday
was a rest day and it made a huge difference. I think my legs were getting
taped out with getting back into a daily routine. It’s a weird feeling being
both very in shape and out of shape. It’s like I’m capable of the work but I
don’t feel good doing it. It’s not fun. But, I just have to keep telling myself
that I’ll get better and it’ll feel better. Another weird thing about today was
my strides felt heavy, it was like I was stomping to get mud off my shoes or
something with every step. It eventually evened out so it’s all good. Tonight
was the perfect temp for running though, the air was a little muggy and thick
with humidity, but the air was cool and the clouds kept the sun from beating
the crap out of me. Overall, a very good run. Which most short runs are haha
it’s funny how 3 miles is short now, 3 miles used to feel like an eternity to
me. Tomorrow’s 8 mile has me a little nervous. I just haven’t felt good lately
and I don’t feel like battling out 8 miles tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well!
June 14, 2014
Sick all
day, no run, just studying… it was awful
June 15, 2014
Lesson
learned from this run: dehydration is a bitch. I think a big part of it was
being sick yesterday. I thought I had had enough to drink, I guess not. I
purposefully took it slow the first few miles because my main focus on long
runs is just to keep moving, keep running. I was doing a great job until around
mile 3.5/ 4 I hit a section of HUGE hills! That really took the wind out of me.
On the good side I found this great little hidden gem of a park that was right
of the road and was big enough to have a bunch of little mini trails!! It was a
great little surprise to be able to go from road running to trail running
without having to leave the city. When I hit the park on my way back I was so
desperate for water I considered either knocking on someones door and asking
for a drink, or drinking from one of the creeks in the park (horrible idea). As
I came up to the park I knew there had to be a water fountain, I was so so so
so so thirsty. Well, no water fountain. But! By the grace of God there was a
water pump. I didn’t care AT ALL where this water came from. Besides there was
water pooled around it so I wasn’t the only desperate individual who had taken
a drink. I pumped that damn thing like my life depended on it and drank like
I’d never seen water before. Anyone walking by would’ve probably thought that I
had just run 20 miles, not 6. I didn’t care, I gulped water put my head under
it and actually started laughing out loud I was so relieved. The next half mile
or so I felt amazing! Buuuuuuuut the feeling faded very quickly. I seriously
struggled the last three miles. The last mile though was so awful I considered
calling a cab, I ended up just walking the whole damn thing. When I did try to
run I felt like I was shuffling along anyway so it almost wasn’t worth the
embarrassment. Scariest part was it wasn’t even that hot yet because I was
running in the morning. But, like I said, lesson learned! Anything over 6 miles
from now on warrants a camelback.
June 17, 2014
I really
wanted to hit either even or negative splits today. But that is really hard to
do when it is so fucking hot! Holy moses! Maybe I should try a little harder to
run in the morning. It’ll still be hot, but not AS hot… hopefully. My goal is
to spend the shorter runs focusing on pace and my longer runs focusing on
stamina (this is not a new idea when it comes to marathon training, or running
in general). For me though, it is new. Usually my goal is simply survival not
necessarily peak performance. But, I’ve survived one marathon I’d like to
thrive through this next one.
I will say
it is fun to be training for something again. I mean I literally need running,
if I don’t run or workout every day or miss more than a few days I go crazy, I
feel slow, fat, and guilty… a horrible combination. While, personal sanity and
health are great reasons for running there is something about training for a
marathon or half… every step of every run feels like it has incredible purpose.
No matter how slow or fast every step forward is a step towards a better race.
A step away from survive and towards thrive.
June 21, 2014
June 21, 2014
Faith in
running restored! Today’s long run felt great! I wish I had made it out the
door a little earlier because near the end of the run it was brutally hot. I
went crazy with the hydration too, I wore a camelback and took sport beans with
me. It’s pretty crazy how training in the summer is so different than training
in milder weather. When I trained for the Georgia Publix I wouldn’t take my
camelback until I was going like 14+ miles. I also felt rested. I did a shake
out run yesterday and some light weights. Anyway! It felt good to feel good on
this long run, a great reminder of why I enjoy this so much!
June 23, 2014
Cross training
The
importance of cross training days cannot be overstated. You gotta give the
joints a break and get some strength training in. Which is exactly what I did
today!
The goal for
the rest of this week is to flush out the system and start eating fresher and
better things!
June 25, 2014
I pulled off
a two-a-day today! It kind of murdered my run but I got a great workout in at
the gym. I did see a cool thing on my run though. There was an envelope taped
to a telephone pole that said “I am” on it and had a bunch of cards. So, I
opened up the envelope and there was a card in it that said “tell me your
story”. It was a Tumblr invite to send your story to this person and they would
put it on Tumblr. I don’t think I want to put my life story on a strangers
Tumblr but it did get me thinking about what I would consider “My Story”. My
least favorite question in an interview is always “So, tell us about yourself”…
I mean, what do they want to know? My previous jobs? My age? My relationship
status? What makes up your story? Or my story? How would I start? I guess I’ll
need a few more runs to think about it.
July 13, 2014
July 13, 2014
Clearly I
have been slacking on recording my runs and workouts lately. I’ve kind of laid
off the whole timing and pacing every mile thing because it was messing with my
psyche a little bit. I mean as much as I would love to be a consistently sub 9
runner, it’s just not going to happen overnight or while I’m carrying 60 extra
pounds. Being a heavy runner really really sucks, well being heavy at all
really really sucks. My body has totally gotten used to doing athletic things
with extra weight. My aunt Marla has a theory that I’m almost too in shape to
lose weight quickly or easily. Basically to push your body out of its comfort
zone it’s all about heart rate and getting it as close to your max for an
extended period of time. Well I’ve gotten myself conditioned to the point that
I have a very low resting heart rate (which is a good thing) but that means
when I workout, unless I completely kill myself, I’m not pushing myself
cardiovascularly and calories don’t get burned off. Don’t get me wrong I push
during workouts, sometimes I could push harder but it can be tough to push
myself when I’m alone, I do better when following direction or working out with
a buddy. I just feel like even with the heartrate thing in mind the fact that I
am burning such a huge amount of calories and eating well I should at least be
losing something. It is incredibly frustrating! The fact that it even baffles
my doctors doesn’t help either. Granted, I don’t want some crazy disease or
syndrome to be the answer to why I have such a hard time but it would also be
kind of comforting to know its not just me and that I’m not working hard
enough. I’m willing to admit when I don’t do something well and I know food has
always been my weakness but it really has gotten to the point where it makes no
sense. At times I even feel like I get so much attention for my running because
I’m bigger, like people see me do it and are like “wow, this girl is super
overweight and she runs marathons?! I guess I really find that impressive cause
a lot of skinny people don’t even do that!” I know I am probably misreading
that completely and I’m being ridiculous, actually I know for a fact that that
is ridiculous and I almost want to erase it from print, but I promised myself
complete honesty through this process so that’s what I’ll get.
In actual
running news I was really happy with how my workouts went last week. Last
Saturday I had my 11 mile run while the fam was in Asheville for the 4th
and it went so well! I felt great! Yesterday’s 12 miler was also great, my legs
kind of died a little by the end but it was a hilly route and I tried to push
my pace so I feel like that is understandable. If this headache goes away and I
get my lab report turned in I’ll go for a quick and easy 3 tonight. I missed
one run last week so I need to make up for it. I also want to go seven days
hard this week, focus on speed and strength. I’ve been doing two-a-days on
Tuesday and Thursday and its been going well! I feel stronger on my runs even
when my legs are tired.
Also! I
signed up for a few half marathons leading up to Chicago! I’m excited for them.
One is a trail half in Chattanooga TN on August 9th, which is when
my schedule says to run one. Then I’m going to DC for the Navy Half on Sept 14,
I’m running with Alex while Marla and Amelia are running the 5 mile race
together. We’re running in honor of Gaffer and I’m really excited! I think Alex
will kick my ass time wise but hopefully we stick together and have a good time
J The last one is Oct 4th
and is a race I ran last year. If you run the half or full in March and the
half in Oct you complete the “Atlanta Challenge”… I did it last year so I
couldn’t turn down the challenge this year! It’s a week before the marathon but
I won’t be trying to PR or anything so I think it’ll be a good warm up to the
big race!
Sept 30, 2014
I haven’t
really kept up with this whole run log thing. Training for this race has been
such a crazy few months of ups and downs. Summer was good, I was able to get a
lot of two a days in and build up some strength and a good endurance base. Once
school started though everything went to hell. I’m lucky if I can get one or
two runs in during the week and then I have to scrape up the energy for a long
run on the weekends. My body feel s more achy and out of whack this time
around. I feel like my legs are ticking time bombs…
BUT! The
half marathons that I was able to do have gone well, I even got a PR at the one
in DC J
Also, the 20 mile training run I did with Julie felt really good. So, I think
that with the hype of the race, the flat course and knowing that all my friends
will be at the race that I will do just fine.
Its crazy
because when you get to this point you really do start to wonder what in the
hell you were thinking haha. I also know that crossing that finish line in the
city that I love, that’s home, and celebrating with all my friends will be so
so so worth it.
I have a
birthday to celebrate, one more half marathon to run and then its Chicago time J
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