~ Taking the long way ~

“Well I never seem to do it like anybody else/

Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down/

If you ever want to find me I can still be found…

Taking the long way around.”

My fellow Dixie Chick fans will recognize that little bit of one of the band’s songs called “Taking the Long Way”. I have always related to this song because I always feel like it takes me longer to get to the same point as other people. And like the song says, I never seem to do it like anybody else. I’ve always had my own way of doing things, sometimes it takes me a little bit longer and it may not be the easiest road, but at the end of the day I make it to the end. Some call it hard headed and some call it independent, but it’s just how I do things.

For a long time I considered myself a late bloomer and I guess I still sort of do. It’s taken me a while to get places that other people reached years before. But, over these last few months I’ve done a lot of thinking on this subject and instead of being embarrassed or upset by my last place finishes, I’ve come to accept and appreciate my slow pace. Just like running, sometimes it’s better to be slow and steady then fast. After all, if you go slow… you end up noticing the view.

Now, in some parts of life I think the “figure it out late”, go slow tactic is not great, like for example, realizing right before your Anatomy final that you should have studied a lot harder for the previous 4 tests. But! Here in South Africa I think that my late blooming has paid off. Let me be honest… I didn’t “click” with things here very quickly. It took me a long time to adjust, to feel content with my placement and the projects I was involved in. The experience wasn’t taking the shape that I expected it too, and I was not handling things well. At our first retreat (which was a glorious and welcomed get away) I found myself left behind again, I seemed to be the only one who hadn’t jumped on the train, who hadn’t taken their happy pill, or was the one pickle amongst a bunch of cucumbers, if you will. I was the only one (so it seemed to me) that wasn’t bursting with excitement about their hosts, towns, or projects. I didn’t really have much to complain about, I had a great host, PMB is an awesome town, and I was busy… but something just wasn’t clicking to me. I got a good dose of MUD therapy on our retreat and left feeling refreshed and ready to get on a positive track. And I did! I felt much better about things after our retreat. Things were still up and down however and I was still having difficulties. I remembered words of YAGM alum from orientation… “it took me like 6 weeks to really feel comfortable”… “If you get to the first retreat the rest is golden”…. “you’ll never want to leave South Africa” and all I could think was “It’s been 12 weeks, why am I still struggling?”

Well, in true late bloomer fashion it took me much longer than 6 weeks… to be honest, longer than 12. But, I can now say that I get what everyone was talking about! I am finally feeling great about things here in PMB. I have found a great rhythm with this town; I notice its beauty and its charms on a daily basis. I run into people on the street and in the kombis that I’ve only met once but we greet each other like great friends. I’m invested in some solid projects that I enjoy. I’m now brave enough to get out there and find fun things to do and to ask for lifts home afterwards! I finally feel that sense of community and I feel a connection to the place and the people here in PMB. Now, I’m not saying that everything is peachy-keen, there are still kinks here and there, but that is to be expected in every part of life, no matter where you are… so I can’t really complain.

So, here I am, halfway through my time in South Africa and I’m finally seeing the light. It has been at the end of the tunnel for a while, but it’s within my reach now and I’m ready to grab it and make this the best five months that I can make it…